So, real talk for a second guys
If you ever accidentally call 911, DON’T HANG UP. Stay on the line and tell the calltaker that you accidentally dialed. When you hang up, we either have to call you back or send out police which takes up valuable resources and wastes money. A simple “It was an accident” is all we need and everyone goes about their life much better
when you’re talking to a Cool Person but you don’t know how to continue the conversation
KYLE MASSEY IS ON CELEBRITY GHOST STORIES IM DYINg OH MY GOd
cory isn’t the only one in the house……
some of you are so sweet i just wanna kiss you on the head and remind u that ur perfect and others i want to kill via cheese grater u feel me
a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals
at a restaurant while u high like
"can i order this"
"would you like a soup or a salad?"
"WHATS A SUPER SALAD"
what if flies said “hey” every time they flew by your ear
I ate pancakes today
why are people so obsessed with “top or bottom”
honestly im just excited to have a bunk bed
uhm im pretty sure OP was talking about sex lol. what are you 12 or something?
what the fuck is sex
my dad once threw a cheeseburger at the wall because mcdonalds made the order wrong
he mustard up the courage to ketchup to how he felt on the inside
how are you even a real person
im not. im actaully a shark making jokes on the internet
OMG today in class teacher was teaching and a kid said RUDE FUNNY THING and teacher was like RUDER FUNNIER THING and the kid was so suprise his hair got on FIRE and he had to be put in HOPSITAL for FIRE HAIR and the whole class was like SILENTS AMAZE trye story 100 % i swear
um . I thonk u made this up for note? ???
frist of all how dare yo u
|—||my last words (via crippledouble)|
Dear diary I am so sick of getting memed on
keep your mutuals close but keep the ones who reblog your selfies and original posts even closer